Directions.

      If you know me at all, you know I am terrible when it comes to directions. I am not humbly saying this at all… I am seriously lost most of the time. Anytime someone gives me directions I practically need a play by play to make it to my final destination. My sweet mom use to draw me a map and write out the street names for me just in case I needed them both (typically I did). Anytime I would go somewhere in a caravan I would tell my friends, “be sure to use your blinkers etc. so that you don’t lose me”. Let me just say, this is a bad problem. I was so happy this past summer when I got a new phone that had free GPS on it. I wear that thing out. However, now that I am in Ghana I have to learn a new system to telling and comprehending directions. When I ask, where such and such is, the common answer is a point with the hand straight and then I am told “just there”. “Just there” can mean a many of different things. It can mean walk 3 miles turn 2 lefts and 1 right and it is “just there”. It could mean go straight till you run into it… o, but it will take an hour or so to get “just there”. Or it can actually mean it is literally next door (this is pretty rare though). The funniest thing is when I am trying to understand what trotro I need to take to get to the next stop to flag down another trotro to get to my destination. “Just there” doesn’t typically work for me. However, people have been gracious and patient with me when I keep questioning “where EXACTLY is ‘just there?’” 


      Directions are a funny thing. Depending on who is giving them and the way the recipient listens makes a big difference. If I am half way listening to the directions I am suppose to take then I will most likely make a left turn when I am suppose to go right. This is the same thing I am trying to understand for my life. Should I be taking a left or a right? For the past few years I have had times in life where I tried to go one direction, while being told the correct direction is opposite of what I was doing. I am learning more and more how to actually listen to the Instructor who is giving me the directions of my life journey. Since being here I have really struggled with where my destination actually is. Yes, I came here for Lady. However, I don’t believe that is the only reason God told me to turn this direction. I am with Lady most of the time. However, things have been at a complete stand still for the past 3 weeks. It is a really frustrating feeling to know you are somewhere to accomplish a goal and nothing is happening. I really enjoy playing with Lady and loving on her. However, I am ready to give her a more consistent life. The directors assistant (the one who is suppose to take us to “meet” Lady’s family to get the paperwork going) took the past month off of work and then two weekends ago she got married. So she is now off work again for an unknown amount of time. So, even though I am here for Lady I can’t help but knowing I need to be doing more. There is so much need here and so many people calling out. I could go anyway down the road and find a need. I am not talking about just the physical needs of water, clothes, food, and shelter. Although those are so important, I am talking about the need of love. I have felt Christ’s love for me so much more over the past few months. I have been loved in life but His love is power and a relief to a spirit. I give Him all praise for this. 


       The people here hear about God all the time. The stores here are called “God is good - chop bar”, “the good shepherd store”, etc. But the way they are told is in a condemning way. God here is a ruler. Not a Savior. I am not trying to down play how He is our Mighty Judge and yes, we will be judged. However, I personally see a God who is way more than that. While I see our judge, I especially see someone who loves me more than I know how to describe in words. I see a compassionate father wanting to hold me up and not needing me to hold Him up. I see a God who searches my heart and knows all my hearts desires. I see my Dad hurting when I hurt, not in a pathetic way, but in a way that shows me He understands me. I see a Savior. I see a Mighty King wanting the best for all of His kids. I see someone who gave all so that we can have all with Him one day. I see beauty. I see a God that holds all my secrets and pains. I see Him as all. I desire this for his people here in Ghana, Africa. I want each person to see this Beautiful Father who is not just waiting to pounce on us when we mess up. But rather One who pours His grace on our screwed up lives, because of His Love. 


      The nagging question in my heart is, “what direction SHOULD I go in doing this?” I want to do all that He wants me to do. Time is short and I want to make the most of every opportunity. However, I don’t know what direction to take in doing this. Parts of me questions if I go to the left and do things one way, is that best? The other thought is to go right and do things another way. Well the more I ponder this question; the more I am being told to “Be still and know that I am God”. Through this stillness with Him I am learning that I want to go the direction that will show Christ. I don’t want to be full of words that many of these people have heard before. Rather, I want to be His hands and feet. I want to sit with people when they are sick. I want to talk to my neighbors and play with their kids. I just want to love them. I don’t have much money and I am definitely not a teacher, but I know how to love. Jesus was a Perfect example and although I won’t be nearly as good as Him. I hope I can at least look different to a world of people who hear His name daily but don’t see His loving heart. I often feel useless here, but I hope to at least show the Joy of having a relationship with Christ. I will just use His map of love to help me in my daily struggle with my directions for this life journey.