A Wild Goose Chase For A Family Reunion

Most everything that I do in America I can get done quickly by either pushing some buttons, turning a faucet, turning the AC to the on position etc. Here in Ghana however, it is quite the opposite. Nothing is a simple task. If you want to wash your hands you have to walk to the well gather the water and then bring it home to wash your hands. That is just a small example of how things are done here. Trying to find Lady’s mom was no exception. 

            We started our excursion to find Lady’s mom Saturday morning. As we were riding in the trotro I was just trying to prepare myself for what was about to happen. Once we arrived to Medie, which is north of where I live, we went to bargain with a taxi driver to take us the rest of the way, we agreed on a price and we were off. We went through many winding roads through the bush then through some small villages.  The road was very rough; I was just hoping we wouldn’t get a flat while driving. We stopped at one point to ask “directions to Mommie Lady’s house” (this is how you ask for someone’s mom).  The people we asked knew exactly who we were talking about. They proceeded to tell us that she had moved. But they told us how to get there. We continued down the crazy road until we arrived at a pretty populated town/village. I was really surprised due to the information I had been given about where her family was from. She was not home. However, they sent someone to get her so Lawrence and I sat and waited. I was getting pretty anxious at this point just wanting to know what was going to happen in the next few minutes. A few moments later this tiny little older women came walking up. She sat down with us and we began to talk. This was Lady’s grandmother. As we were talking there were many people who started to swarm we had over 15 kids around us as well as at least 5 adults, all putting their input in. This goes back to the mindset that everyone knows everyone else’s business. We sat with her and she continued to tell us that she had moved away from Lady’s family a long time ago and that THIS was her home, not theirs. We were also told that Lady was named after her. This is the answer to some other false information we have received from the people at Amasaman Hospital who told us THEY were the ones who named Lady. It is crazy how many small things like that we are coming to understand the truth about.

On the road to Lady's old home

Work site on the way.

Grandma Lady's home.

Grandma Lady

            We spoke to grandma Lady for a while and then we were told that her brother was also living in town, so they summoned him to come as well. Here in Ghana anything that relates to family is a WHOLE family affair. I learned later that this is especially true if a child is named after you. “It is a burden to have a child named after you” Lawrence told me. If a child is named after you (you have to give permission) then anything concerning them including school, food, life, death, and adoption is in your hands, not the actual birth parents. Therefore, since grandma has this type of authority she was the one who had to take us to find Lady’s birth mom. We got back into the taxi and went through the rough winding road out of that village all the way to a completely different area. The car wasn’t going to be able to take us the whole way because we had to walk through a lot of bush and trees. On our way we asked a few of people where to turn. Walking through the shaded bush we came upon this big open area with some concrete buildings. No one was around. We looked and looked until we came upon a single family living completely alone.  This is Lady’s family.

Walking to find the family

At the place they stay at.

Lady's Mom.

            We introduced ourselves and said a prayer to start. They welcomed us into the place where they are staying right now. It is not their home. However, they are there for a while by what I gathered. We walked in to a hallow room filled with trash, palm branches, and dirt. They got two empty gas cans for Lawrence and I to sit on before we started telling them why we were there. I brought some oranges and bananas for the family and started to hand it out to four small kids. As I sat and took in this sight it was very obvious that these kids are malnourished but loved. Lady’s stepfather (as far as I can tell, he is the only father she knows) is a tall very skinny man. He is quiet tempered and very kind. Lady looks so much like her mom. They both have the same beautiful eyes. As I watched how Lady’s mom interacted it made more sense to me why Lady is so closed off. Her mom made very little eye contact and seemed very distant. Once we sat, Lawrence began to talk and tell them our purpose. In Ghana there are so many systems to how things are done, so I always ask Lawrence before I go somewhere, what I am suppose to do. Through the introduction Lawrence told them that I am here to care for Lady and be her advocate and THAT is the reason I moved to Ghana. We told them how much we care for Lady and we want to give her a home. As Lawrence explained to them more about my purpose here, Lady’s dad’s eyes were filled with tears. He at times put his head into his hands because he was overwhelmed by this whole situation. I was concerned these were tears of anxiety that someone wanted to take his daughter but as he looked up and told me “Thank you” with misty eyes, I learned it was tears of joy and thankfulness. It was obvious, this man has done everything he can to take care of his family but he is so overwhelmed. He really broke my heart. As I watched those four malnourished little kids dig into some simple oranges, and listened as Lady’s dad tried to explain his thankfulness, I felt God’s presence. At one point I asked if they wanted to see a picture of Lady. I pulled out my camera and was holding it in front of her dad. He just looked with a blank stare until I pointed to Lady and said, “THAT is Lady”. He was so overjoyed with shock! He shook my hand again and said thank you. He was so happy to see his little girl healthy and getting better everyday.

3 of the 7 childre

Lady's mom and 4 of her siblings.

Lady's Stepdad

Lady's sister.

            Both Lady’s parents and grandmother want us to take Lady and give her a home. What an answered prayer. The next step in this process is to get the Director’s assistant to “take us” to see Lady’s family and have them tell her they want US to take custody of Lady. Once that is accomplished, we will go with the assistant to the Director to tell her and make that happen. This is going to be a really tough situation with the Director, but God has proven Himself this far.

            Let me tell you a little more information I learned about Lady. She is one of seven. However, one of these kids died some time ago. One of the other children is living with a family in Accra. They are not sure of the date Lady was born but they do know she was born on Wednesday (days of the week here are very important). Lady’s mom told me she knows someone who knows Lady’s birthday and she will find out for me. I have been questioning Lady’s age for the past few weeks. After some events that have occurred I doubted her actually being 10.  There was one point a few weeks ago that I had to give her a little info on the “Birds and the Bees” so with the help of a nurse we explained a few things to this confused little girl. Therefore, I assumed her age to be somewhere around 11 or 12. Her dad confirmed it; she is 11, by what he remembers. Everything is becoming so much clearer.

Lady’s Buruli Ulcer story started many years ago. It started out as a little nodule on her leg. Her parents who had a friend that said he had some natural things to put on it to heal it. However, as he would add it, it would just continue to get worse and rupture more and more. There was a group (including the Director’s assistant) who was going around giving Polio vaccines this is where the assistant saw Lady. She went back and told them about Lady, therefore they came for Lady. Lady’s parents came to see her a few times at the beginning but “due to some situations” were unable to go back to see her. I don’t know what all of that exactly means but I can tell you these are not bad people at all, just very poor and unknowing.  So there is her real story from her parents. All of this makes more sense than any other stories I have been given.

This whole day was filled with lots of searching. Not only were we looking for physical beings, but we were also looking for a specific answer. It felt like it may be a wild goose chase and at times it was. However, at the end of the day we had a family reunion and found exactly what we had been searching for. God is so good!